Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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