So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
