She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
