My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
