The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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