my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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