What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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