just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
