Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
