Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
