She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
