i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
zippers are such a cool invention
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
