did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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