Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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