Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
