I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
