Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
