As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
