oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
