And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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