My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
