He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
