He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
