as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
