toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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