he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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