I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
