My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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