I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
