Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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