There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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