I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
