i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
