why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
