Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
