That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
