All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
