Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
