You really coming over, don't trick.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
