I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
tell me about the fingering
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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