I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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