theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
