We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
