We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
