I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
