Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
