Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
