I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
