What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
