Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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