I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
