Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
