Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize