The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Randomize
